...who doesn't really wanna grow up?

Am I the only one who struggles with my mouth totally running ahead of my brain?  The only one who FEELS like yelling to the world that I'd really rather NOT be a grown-up but instead throw a monster sized tantrum?  (Not that I actually DO it, mind you, but the temptation does arise on occasion...) The only one who when your teen-aged daughter has a melt-down, you join her?  Yeah, well, I’ve been guilty of all of the above.  I’ve really been working on some things, though, as hard as it has been, and I thought I’d share with you all a bit of what I’ve recently learned. 

Colossians 4:6 has me under conviction currently. 

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

Wow.  When I’m in all-about-me-I-don’t-wanna-be-a-grown-up-melt-down mode, does my speech measure up to this standard????  Ouch.  More importantly, what’s going through my heart and mind?  If we nurse them long enough, thoughts and feelings inevitably weasel their way into words…words we eventually come to regret.

I have yet to conquer the waves of crazy feelings that come crashing over me at times, but I have been begging and pleading with the Lord to help me watch my words…to help me think through the implications of what I’m saying...to help me stick with facts instead of letting feelings cloud my judgment.  All of these add up to a monumental task that is more challenging than anything else I’m facing.  And being a homeschooling mom of four and the wife of a cancer fighter, that is saying a lot.  But I mean it.  The little foxes spoil the vines, you know…and so it is in my case.  When I’m off my game and not watching, praying, reading the Word, or examining my heart, Satan attacks.  And sometimes it’s a little while before I realize what is going on.  Sometimes I don’t catch it until my emotions are fully engaged and it is difficult to sort out the facts. The battle can be incredibly difficult to fight, but God is faithful.  He WILL provide the strength if we are willing to follow His principles laid out for us in His Word.

This past week, I read a blog post written by Megan Rice on Mom Life Today.  I have so appreciated this blog!  Her article is specifically geared toward helping our kids work through their emotional melt-down moments, but I’ve snagged these four questions for use in my own journey. 

1.       What are you feeling?

2.       What caused you to feel this way?

3.       What is the truth about this situation?

4.       What is a good response to this situation?

I’ve noticed that if I pinpoint my emotions and give them a name, they shrink dramatically. 
Secondly, if I look for the cause of the emotion, I usually find that the emotions I’m feeling are way out of proportion to the actual event that caused them to flare up.  Sometimes this second step alone can take the wind out of the sails of the craziness haunting me. 

My best bet though, is number three.  What is the truth?  First, what is God’s truth about His love for me?  What is God’s truth about who I am? If I take a hard look at the persons involved, can I see through the haze of what Satan is tossing my way and remember the truth about the relationship?  If it involves my husband, it may feel as though he has done something insensitive or hurtful, but if everything else in our relationship points to his caring for me by working hard, by providing for the family, by telling me he loves me, by his faithfulness in all ways…how CAN I really believe him anything but what he says he is!  And all of my responses to anything he does that may SEEM insensitive need to be filtered through that truth. The same principle can be applied in every relationship.  I need to also look at the truth in my own actions.  Did I do my best in every aspect?  Did I please the Lord?  If so, no matter what Satan has to throw my way, it shouldn’t stick.  If I have not, maybe the beginning of clearing up the emotional haze would be to do some apologizing.  That can be difficult, but it can also cut the duration of a crazy period in half!

In determining the truth about a situation and diffusing some of the emotion from the scenario, we can then come closer to determining what our response to the situation should be – based on Scripture…not on our own misguided desires or tendencies.  1 Corinthians 13 comes quickly to mind.  Again, ouch.

Please remember that this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a process I have come anywhere NEAR perfecting. I’m totally in the learning stages with all of this.  But I figured maybe some accountability could come from sharing this with you all.  And maybe, just maybe it would be of some help to one of you. 

For my own benefit, I took the above questions and pared them down to one word each and wrote them on my bathroom mirror…along with some of my other favorite reminders…yeah, I have a large bathroom mirror!  This is my list:

1.       Feeling?

2.       Cause?

3.       Truth?

4.       Response?

Not that you couldn’t have come up with that yourselves (grin). Anyway, my experience has shown me that I need short and sweet reminders for crisis moments.  I can’t read a whole paragraph or digest a chapter in a book when I’m over the top emotional, so this is designed to quickly get my brain back on track and hope my emotions quickly follow! 

These verses have been my daily prayer for the past few weeks...may my heart be pure and my actions pleasing to the Heavenly Father...

“Have mercy upon my, O God, according to thy lovingkindness…

                Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts…

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me,

                Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me…

A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.”

~Selections from Psalm 51

 

Link

I have been asked to post regularly on a blog entitled "Cherish the Call".  Below is a link to the blog where you can read my latest post.  Make sure you read the first comment as I have included a couple of additions to the original post. 

I hope each of you who may happen to read this have seen a pleasant start to your new year! God bless you as you look for new ways to serve Him and show His love in this hurting world.

  

Cherish the Call

...who sometimes cries?

Once again, I'm pretty sure I'm NOT the only one!!!  I just ran across this quote and I just thought I'd pass it along as food for thought...or comment.  I'm not sure it ALWAYS applies...

"People cry,

not because they are weak.

It's because they've been

strong

for too long."

 

~~ attributed to Johnny Depp ~~

 

 

I like the thought that God is taking note of each tear...and He knows the deep feeling behind each one.  Tears can be incredibly cleansing as well as healing.  Rarely are true tears a sign of weakness.  They might be signs of compassion...heartbreak...fear...joy...exhaustion...deep pain...stress...but no matter the cause, God sees.  And cares immensely. 

 

Blessings on all as you start this New Year - it's clean slate is appealing and inviting and offers a new start to those of us who have made mistakes in the past one.  I would encourage you to look for opportunities to make this new year one full of memory-making moments and chances to touch lives for Christ!

 





...who is exhausted but blessed and happy?

God has been so incredibly good to me!  Wow!  Another Christmas spent with my family has been a great reminder of this.  Being able to spend time with my hubby, my kids, my brother home from Andrews Air Force Base, and other family members who have dealt with physical issues over the past year has been a treasured gift. 

I have little to say that would be of any interest to anyone else at this moment, but I do want to express my gratefulness to each and every one who has loved us, prayed for us, cared for us, supported us and encouraged us over the past months and even years now.  Every kind word, every hug, every smile, every card, every moment of time spent, every text, every email, every phone call....every indication that you care has meant so much to Michael and me.  Please know that even though I'm not good at putting my feelings into words and even though I can't write an eloquent blog, I have been deeply touched by the many ways in which you...our families and dearest friends...have reached out to let us...me...know how much you care.  I often feel extremely unworthy of these expressions and thus don't always know how to respond properly.  But my heart has many times been blessed and overwhelmed with the faithfulness of God to show His love and mercy to me through His willing emissaries...like you!

So, yes.  I'm throroughly exhausted!  It's been a crazy busy Christmas season once again!  But on this special day when we remember that most special of moments when our Lord graced this darkened world with the light of HIS presence, I add my wishes to those of many others -

Merry Christmas to you all! 

And may your new year be full of many

wonderful memory making moments

as well as

oodles of opportunities to

touch lives for Christ! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...who wishes people had more faith in others?

Why is it that people always seem to assume the worst about others?  Yesterday I experienced another situation where someone made assumptions years ago and was never made aware of the facts, thus, they still assume those same things today.  Not only that, but they have interpreted other actions of our family in LIGHT of the false assumptions they've held all these years.  We left the situation believing that no matter what we say or do, we will never be able to overcome the reputation we have with that family.  Why could these folks not assume that we had the BEST of intentions?  Why could they not remember that they do NOT have all the facts thus cannot truly interpret our motives from a limited knowledge of our actions? 

And where is their faith in us?  In me?  And why does it hurt so much to find this out? 

Lord, please help me to remember my pain when I am tempted to make harsh judgments regarding the actions of others....especially when I do not have all the facts.  And I know the truth will win out in the end, but it seems like that might not prove true in this situation, so I guess I'll have to be comforted in the fact that You alone know our hearts and minds.  And You are the ultimate judge...

...who is overwhelmed during this time of year?

Yes, I am often overwhelmed at the thoughts that pass through my head of tasks to be completed, parties to attend, gifts to purchase, food to be prepared, traditions to be observed, decorations to be placed, people to please....yeah, that. 

BUT....

That's not exactly what I meant by the question in the post title.  I am referring to the feeling of being overwhelmed by the blessings God has seen fit to send my way. 

Like these.

I am so blessed by the gift God has given me in the plan of salvation; by the hope of a home in heaven, and eternity spent in the light of His gracious presence....

I am so blessed to have my husband here with me, by my side, teaching my children, loving me, still working, still fighting...

I am so blessed by my children.  They are growing, and changing, and learning, and loving, and becoming wonderful young people whose lives shine for Jesus wherever they go.  They fill my heart with sweet memories and moments of laughter, plus they keep me humble and asking for wisdom from above! 

I am so blessed by God's provisions:

• Financially - He has never let us down! Even though Michael has had to miss much work, we have had every need met!  God has been so faithful to prompt hearts even before the need arises.
• Spiritually - So many have prayed for us, so many have cared for us, so many have ministered to us in so many ways!  Several dear folks have even reached out to me specifically.  And I want to give a special shout-out to one of my life-savers, my Stephen Ministry care-giver.  What a blessing and gracious mentor she has been to me!  She has helped keep my focus on God and has encouraged my heart again and again...
• Emotionally - This category is similar to the one above, but different in some way.  I can't express how grateful I am to the ones who have taken time to listen to my heartaches and helped cheer me on those toughest of days.  Sometimes it is through a hug, sometimes a text, sometimes a Facebook message, sometimes phone call, but however these expressions of support take form, they are much appreciated and valued. 
• Physically - This takes more than one form, the first being my home!  What a beautiful blessing beyond what I ever expected!  God has been so good to give us a home that exceeded our expectations!  Obviously, this also refers to having enough to eat, and plenty of clothes to wear, but beyond that, I'd also like to mention how God has blessed me with strength when I thought I had none left...and the ability to go on even when I felt I could not.  He's kept me from getting sick when I should have been.  He's held me up when I felt I could not stand on my own.  I've been so blessed by His tender, loving care.....

 I am blessed with some gracious, loving, forgiving, caring, praying, and otherwise wonderful friends!  If I've dumped on you in some way in the past two and a half years, you are more than likely counted in that group!  So many have cared deeply for our situation and my life as well as Michael's and I cannot express enough gratitude for that care....Some of you I have met only recently, some of you I've known "forever" - but each of you has been used by God in some way in my life.  Thank you for being willing tools in His hands.

I am blessed with marvelous family members who just really don't know how to stop giving!  Their love keeps on giving and giving, and they seem to never run out of reasons to do so. 

I am blessed with God's loving patience.  He has taught me so much.  He has been so incredibly longsuffering with this slow learner, and He has brought so much light across my pathway.  He has given me much, and it seems He is also requiring much.  But in that act of requiring much, He also provides much guidance and grace. 

Sometimes I feel set aside from "ministry" - but He is showing me my true ministry lies within the walls of my home for now.  There I am needed, and there, I am so very, very blessed....

Are you overwhelmed with your blessings, too?  If not, take a few moments to think of where you COULD be, if not for the grace and blessing of our Heavenly Father....and let your heart be blessed!!!

Happy Thanksgiving! But remember, every day is a good day to GIVE THANKS!!

...who suffers from bouts of depression?

Well, I'm pretty sure that the answer to the above question is a resounding NO!, but I have begun to be curious as to just how many this crazy beast pesters!  From a recent post on Facebook I have received numerous responses, some via private message, from others who deal with the dark curse of depression. Is there something that could be done to help combat this...this...THING?  Would it help if we actually felt as if we could TALK about it without being labeled un-spiritual or a less-than-worthy human being? 

My journey with the beast has forced me to look for some answers...some coping techniques...some aids to avoiding its pitfalls.  And armed with these coping techniques, I've hoped to beat the beast at its game - with God's help and guidance.  But it somehow still succeeds in getting the best of me at times.

I know, some would say, "Well, you have good REASON to be depressed." 

Then some also say, "Why would YOU be depressed?  Look at how God has blessed you!  Plus, it's a beautiful day outside!" 

Um, well, in case you hadn't noticed, depression doesn't really seem to take note of those things.  In fact, it seems to handily ignore them altogether.  It really doesn't seem to matter WHAT is happening in my life, depression kind of seems to take over just whenever it wants to.  It doesn't ask for permission.  And circumstances may contribute, but more often than not, they are just viewed through the eyes of the one consumed with depression as the culprits in this season of "ugh-ness."

I recently attended a seminar given by a man named Dr. Stephen Ilardi, PhD.  He has written a book entitled The Depression Cure.  His book and seminar give six steps to beating or at least coping successfully with depression without the use of drugs!  He acknowledges there is a place for medication, but his ultimate goal is to get all his patients living depression-free and not dependent on the meds.  (He obviously gives many details in support for his points in his book, but the basics, I believe, can be shared here since I am giving him full credit.)

He suggests that the following will help even in the most extreme cases...and he has had many patients prove him correct!  Here are his basic suggestions:

• Lots and lots and lots of light - windows, light boxes, whatever it takes
• Plenty of Omega-3s - high quality is preferred
• Exercise - can start with just a little at first; a "coach" is very helpful in this scenario - to come alongside the depression victim and just ask them to come along for a short walk, etc.
• Avoid "rumination" - Yup...just like cows, we "chew" on destructive thoughts when we need to distract ourselves by forcing a change in our thought processes.
• Participate in meaningful activities
• Be a part of a healthy community of people

Now, these are just off the top of my head, from what I remember from the seminar.  If you are at all interested, more information can be found here.

What do you think?  Have you tried any of these steps with either success or failure?  What helps bring you out of the downward spiral?  Do you see the signs and work to avoid the pit or does it get you before you realize it?

I am in the process of learning what types of things bring me down and how to catch the destructive thought patterns in formation, but there are still times when I have no idea how I fell into the pit again.  Maybe it's not something I CAN control.  Or is it?

Does God promise a depression-free life?  IS it a spiritual issue?  Is it something certain personalities tend toward more than others?  Please...feel free to share your thoughts.  I'd love some dialog on this...

For now, may God be with each of you and keep you whole and healthy,