Do you feel safe today?

Do you feel safe today?

Do your kids feel safe? 

Do they feel safe to let down their guard with you as a parent – to share their vulnerability with you? To be honest about their emotions?

I know that many of my parenting decisions and reactions across the years have come from a place of needing to meet some need I have rather than from truly seeing the need my child’s heart is expressing. Yes…sigh…it has happened to me many times – even when I would try my best to convince you that it didn’t.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been learning a lot about separating my emotional journey from my actions and reactions to circumstances around me. The more I have analyzed myself in this light, the more I feel as though I've never grown up. I've failed this thing miserably. Just how many times HAVE I reacted or parented unwisely because my focus was on the wrong thing? On proving something to someone?  On simply trying to survive rather than seeing that my child is ALSO searching for someone to understand – to aid in their survival?

It’s easy to drown in the grief of mistakes made, of wrong actions taken, of regrets.

But I can NOT stay in that place or I will only succeed in making more of those mistakes, causing more regret, creating more challenges for my children.

So, I’m looking for ways to help me remember to depend more heavily on what GOD says for me when I hit those challenging moments. I am trying to retrain my brain – to take a different look at what is before me – to stand in a different place and react from there rather than the familiar territory that leads only to strife and frustration and disappointment and regret.

One of the lessons I am learning is that when I focus more on who I am in God, I am free to parent or react to situations from that place.

This means calmness of mind and heart vs. agitation.

This means an ability to focus on the need of the hearts and minds of others vs. on my own.

This means an opportunity to extend God’s love and acceptance to that child/person vs. judgment.

Today in my personal devotions, I read some Scriptures and statements that blessed and encouraged me. Maybe they will bless your soul as well!

1.     Psalm 139 – a passage well worth reading. It's a clear reminder that God KNOWS me. I mean, He DESIGNED me – personality, abilities, looks, and likes. He also knows my every thought and emotion, weakness and failure. In spite of that, He loves me. He loves me enough to DIE for me!

Guys!!! None of my weak spots or goof-ups have frightened Him away!!! He STILL pours out blessing after blessing on my life…He STILL provides for my every emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual need.

2.     Matthew 10:30 – you know this one. It’s the one where we learn that Jesus knows how many individual hairs my head sports. And He loves me enough to care about that fact.

3.     Acts 15:8 – It brings comfort to me that God knows my heart. This means that even when my well-intentioned words or actions don’t flow quite right, He understands and doesn’t condemn. When others misunderstand, Jesus “gets me.” All of me.

4.     John 6:37 – Jesus promises never to reject anyone who comes to Him. That includes me. Let that sink in…He doesn’t base His acceptance or rejection of us on our smarts or lack thereof!

5.     Romans 15:7 – Because Christ has accepted me, I can reach out and do the same for others. And their reaction to my efforts doesn’t affect my status with Christ.

6.     Colossians 1:21-22 – Christ went to extreme lengths to bring me to Himself – to provide a way for me to enter into God’s presence blameless and holy. And He did this “while we were yet sinners.” Wow.

7.     Jeremiah 31:3 – God loves me…ME!!!...with an everlasting love! And He draws us to Himself with lovingkindness.
If that isn’t an amazing Christmas gift, I don’t know what is!!

8.     Lamentations 3:22-23 – God is compassionate beyond our comprehension, merciful beyond our understanding, and faithful beyond our expectation.

9.     Ephesians 3:17-19 – What a way to top off the list! Christ wants to dwell in our hearts and show us what it means to be rooted and grounded in the love He has for us. This love that we are unable to fully grasp enables us to not only be filled with the presence of God, but to be filled with ALL the FULLNESS of God!

I reiterate my earlier statement – what an amazing gift this is!
Confidence in this kind of love can withstand any attack the enemy hurls our direction, our children’s direction. If we can feel safe in these truths, then we can be a safe place where others feel free to be honest and real and vulnerable.

This is one gift I plan to re-gift...

time and time and time and time again!

Merry Christmas, friends! 

* The above list of Scriptures and a couple of the main focus thoughts are taken from the Bible study entitled Mom Set Free by Jeannie Cunnion, published by LifeWay Press.