Words.
Some are short.
Some are long.
We string them together carelessly,
creating sentences, stories, and statements that roll off our tongues with slippery ease.
We rarely look back to see where they go...where they land.
This evening, the water was hot as I washed up the last of the supper dishes. As I turned a favorite cup around and around underneath the steaming liquid, it happened again. The flashback.
I can't tell you exactly why, but almost every time I wash dishes by hand and feel the hot water running over my hands, a comment from my distant past marches its way boldly across the stage of my memories.
I once again feel stupid, chastised, put in my place, and humiliated. And I shrink a little.
What was the comment and who made it? Does it matter? No.
Because I'm sure no ill will or harm was meant.
But tell that to my brain. My subconscious self.
I am unable to rid myself of this memory.
The words spoken that long ago day were true ones...but the way in which they were spoken, the way they fell upon my ears seared them forever, it seems, on my emotions.
Just like the time I was falsely accused of lying by someone for whom I felt deep respect.
Just like the time I was mocked at someone else's house for my way of loading the dishwasher.
Just like the time I was told my crush thought my nose looked too long when I wore contacts.
And so on and so forth.
Maybe there were elements of truth in some of the comments. Maybe there weren't. That isn't my point.
Maybe the statements were a big deal. Maybe they weren't. That isn't my point.
My point is this. The words stuck. Like, they REALLY stuck.
I have not been TRYING to hold onto these things nor do I constantly bring them up.
I long ago wrapped my mind around the circumstances surrounding these events and understood that none of the perpetrators of such verbal pokes and prods in my direction were intending me everlasting harm.
I forgave to the best of my ability. I don't carry grudges toward the individuals involved.
I just can't get away from the words themselves and the emotions tied to them.
They still come up to punch me in the face every once in a while.
Why? I don't know.
Words.
Some are short.
Some are long.
We string them together carelessly,
creating sentences, stories, and statements that roll off our tongues with slippery ease.
We rarely look back to see where they go...where they land.
But maybe we should.
Maybe we SHOULD take a closer look at our words.
Maybe we SHOULD watch where they go, where they land.
Because our spoken words STICK.
Our kids, spouses, family members, neighbors, and friends...they have feelings, too.
And they can be just as easily impacted by our words as we are by theirs.
I also remember some good words.
Words of encouragement spoken in my darkest hours.
Words of healing when in the middle of my deepest pain.
Words of praise when I felt completely worthless.
Words of comfort when I ached with grief.
Those words also stick.
They come back around to bless me time and time again.
They impacted my life for good...pointed me toward truth...enveloped me in love...
reminded me of my value to God...pulled me toward the light...made a difference.
In this time of divisiveness and disunity in our country, our words matter.
After the election is over, the impact of words spoken today will still be felt.
After the virus has disappeared from center stage and been relegated to the history books,
the impact of opinions spoken today will still be felt.
Relationships matter.
They matter more than opinion or position.
They matter more than preference or politics.
Truth matters. Yes, it does.
But the truth is that...relationships matter.
And our words deeply affect our relationships.
I can't afford to forget.
I have to remember! I don't want to wound my children.
I have to remember! I don't want to build walls with extended family members.
I have to remember! I don't want to push away my friends and neighbors.
God says:
"With their words, the godless destroy their friends,
but knowledge will rescue the righteous."
~ Proverbs 11:9 (NLT)
"It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor;
a sensible person keeps quiet."
~ Proverbs 11:12 (NLT)
"Gentle words are a tree of life;
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
~ Proverbs 15:4 (NLT)
"Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."
~ Proverbs 16:24 (NLT)
"Wise words are like deep waters;
wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook."
~ Proverbs 18:4 (NLT)
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak,
they will give account of it in the day of judgment."
~ Matthew 12:36 (NKJV)
I want my words to be a gentle balm to hurting souls,
bubbling waters of encouragement to struggling hearts,
and the sweet honey of blessing to all I meet.
I cannot do this on my own.
This takes keeping one ear attuned to the Holy Spirit while the other truly listens for what is needed...
___________________________
This post is for me as much as (actually, MORE than) anyone else. I'm not pointing fingers.
I'm encouraging all who read this to join with me in making sure our words are pleasing to God.
They need to be if we ever want to hear those blessed words,
"Well done, thou good and faithful servant...enter thou into the joy of thy Lord!"
Praying the Lord helps me watch my words carefully,
*Note: I am not endeavoring to address the extremely serious circumstance of true verbal abuse with this post. I am not qualified in any way to do so.
This is directed toward those every-day, off-hand comments that we so easily make while forgetting that words have much more power in the life of another than we typically realize.
