Sunday, September 9, 2012

...who is having difficulty learning to say "no"?

I am struggling to learn this imporant skill.  But I am also needing to use the word now more than ever before.  You see, my family needs me now more than ever before.  And they need me sane.  They need me peaceful and happy.  They DON'T need a raving lunatic for a wife and mother!  And that's what I was tending to become when dealing with the stress of high expectations, unnecessary demands from outside sources, and the exhaustion that accompanied trying to out-perform my physical capabilities. 

So, I'm endeavoring to learn tactful, yet firm, use of the word "No." 

And avoid the guilt trips.

Someone told me recently that God gives us the grace and strength to accomplish what He asks us to do....but NOT for what He does NOT ask us to do.  Those tasks we heap upon ourselves in an effort to prove to the world around us that we are super human are not automatically recipients of God's blessings of help and extra strength. 

But there will still be times in which a "yes" is necessary and even appropriate even though the task may seem daunting.  First, motives must be examined.  If they are pure, in order to release myself from undue expectations or the feeling that others are expecting more from me that I can give, I believe I will take the advice of the same someone and ask myself these questions:

  • "What will have to happen to make this venture a success in my opinion?"
  • "What would equal failure?"
  • "Are my standards for myself or this situation realistic or unreasonable? Is there a middle ground?  Am I okay with ending up on the middle ground?"
  • "How can my goals or standards be modified so they are less strict and demanding and leave more of a middle ground?" (These have been slightly reworded from the originals.)
What do you think?  Am I the only one who struggles with unrealistic standards for myself? Am I the only one who is afraid to say NO because of fear of rejection or lack of acceptance?

I don't believe I am....

No comments:

Post a Comment